Transcription:Dora the E-plorer
(We see different framed pictures of Dora through her life on the wall, and then move to a teenage Dora as she sits on a sofa and texts on her cellphone.) Mrs. Marquez: unseen Dora! DORA! Dora: Whaaaaaaaaaat?! Mrs. Marquez: It's almost time for your quinceañera! I need you to run to the store! Dora: loudly for a few seconds Fine! (We cut to a marquee that says "Dora the Explorer: Quinceañera Special", and then to Dora shopping in a store and reading a list.) Dora: Soda, cookies, horchata... and tosses the list aside barf! to the audience Help me out. Which beer has the highest alcohol by volume? (A computer cursor appears and clicks on the larger bottle.) Dora: Good choice! it up Backpack: Uh, Dora? You're not old enough to buy that! Dora: No s**t! the bottle inside Backpack's head Backpack: Dora, please, no! It's wrong - gagged by another bottle in her mouth Dora: Now let's complete this transaction! out of the store Cashier: Hey, stop that kid! (We snap to Dora standing outside in the street.) Dora: [to the audience] I need your help again. I need everyone to shout, "Where's my mother f***ing map at?!" (The computer cursor appears again and clicks on her backpack.) Dora: Awww, yeah! [pulls out Map and opens him up] Map, show me where to find my friend Marcus. He's always holding. Map: I... uh... I don't know, Dora. (Dora, annoyed, rips a corner of him off, making him scream in pain.) Map: Okay, okay! He's at the park on Twelve under the jungle gym! Dora: excited He said he might have some X, too! him up and throws him out of view as she talks to us You can call me "Dora the X''-plorer!" (''We cut to Dora's quinceñaera party, where she has on a pink and orange dress.) Dora: and looking at the audience Hey, I need your help! at her friends Paulo or Maria? (The computer cursor appears again and clicks on Maria.) Dora: No argument here! (She begins making out with her, causing Paulo and a group of turned-on men to gasp, pull out their camera phones, and take pictures of the girls making out.) Swiper: a zoot suit, lifting up girls' skirts to look under them, and chuckling Just call me the "virginity" Swiper. Dora: to Swiper and waves her hand Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Girl: past Dora and Maria You're too late. (She walks up to Swiper, who jumps into the girl's arms, making her walk backwards into the maintenance room.) Swiper: Oh, man! (We cut to Mr. and Mrs. Marquez sitting at a table, watching the party.) Mrs. Marquez: I wish Boots was here to see our little girl become a woman! Mr. Marquez: Monkeys are cute when they're little, but Boots... he got big. (We snap to a black and white TV screen with a large van, where an old woman is talking to Boots a chimpanzee.) Old Woman: Oh, hello, Boots! (Boots growls and attacks the old woman, slamming her into the van to make her blood gush out and pounding her with his fists; a second later, two police officers appear to stop the attack.) Police Officer 1: Get away! Police Officer 2: Get a- Oh, my God! Oh, my- (The first police officer shoots Boots, killing him right away; then we cut back to the party Mr. and Mrs. Marquez, where most of the guests run by Dora's parents to get out of the building.) Boy: panicked Oh, my God, Dora's on the roof! (Dora's parents look appalled to hear this, and then we snap to Dora standing at the edge of the roof and looking at us.) Dora: I bet I can fly. Do you think I can fly? for a moment, then begins crying in frustration I've never been able to hear you! That's the show's big lie! (She proceeds to jump with a cheer, but dies on the ground with a big splat. As she does this, the others, including her parents, watch and groan in disappointment.) Paulo: Ugh, she missed the pool. (As always, we end with a static screen.) Category:Transcriptions